BONDS

A strong relationship that you make with someone. Some relationships last longer than you think and some last lesser than you expect them to.

Some relationships come so unexpectedly and they remind you of how happy you could be, what life means and what happiness could look like. And some relationships remind you how not to be in life, what choices not to make and what are the worst decisions one could do.

Some people come as a blessing. Some people come to remind you what a blessing looks like and what a curse is. When people change, remember its for a good thing and sometimes it’ll remind you to be a happy person. Learn to let go off people, and never hold them back. People are like sand granules, they just slip in between the gaps of your hand the last of the last granules that stay fist in your hand are the only people that stand by in your life. 

Some people will make you feel like home, make you feel like you’re the world and they’re your world. But sooner or later things will change and you will eventually get used to small talks, shorter texts, missing replies, no callbacks and no texts. You’ll sooner or later get too comfortable with your loneliness and won’t have a place for the one who caused you this. You will also realise, there’s no part of you that’s left to hold you back in one piece or hold that person or any person back in your life. You will evolve and become that person, you fail to recognise in years and situations to come. You will fail to see the good in any situation and only look at what’s bad about it. You will learn and hate your self for not prioritising yourself over anybody else. If priorities had a meaning that would be now! 

When…..

Dreams shatter 

Words fade

Opinions differ

Hearts heavy 

Minds messy 

Eyes full 

Sit down and write what matters and what doesn’t. 

Learn to prioritise and you’ll feel a little better, Maybe. 

And today, 

When I sit here in the dark looking at the hue of night and the darkness:

I wait for the sign to build-up

I wait for the hope to begin 

I wait for the ray to lighten 

I wait for the light to brighten 

I wait for the dark to fade 

I wait for the black to darker

I wait for the colour to deepen 

I wait for the night to intoxicate 

I wait for the stars to kill 

I wait for the moon to fill

Sitting here in the dark

I wait, I wait and I wait……

MENTAL HEALTH – DEPRESSION

Medically, depression is defined as a mental health disorder characterised by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life.

Let’s get some facts upright. It isn’t like movies, where you see a girl sitting by the corner of her room and peeping out of the window, with unwashed hair and wrinkled skin and dark circles eyes. No that isn’t how these true beauties look like. These dark circles are drawn with makeup, their hair is set by stylists, they even wear perfectly curated branded clothes.

True beauties have the most flawless skin in the world. They have an ever sparkling eye with no dark circles around. Their smile seems so seamless and picture-perfect. Their beauty has no comparison to anything in this world. Not like your celebs but a naturally amazing beautiful woman! These people I’m talking about was around you throughout the day, doing their job just fine, maybe more than just fine, maybe close to perfection.

Depression can be really disturbing and worrisome. People do not talk about it to anybody and everybody and they do not express what they feel either.

It’s an all-day-long contradiction, something like these.

Some days, I’m tired mentally, somedays I’m tired physically, some days it’s both, but there’s never in between.

Some days it’s haunting. Some days are unusually calm.

Some days I want to cry, some days I want to sit still and never talk.

Some days are happy. Some days are way too chaotic. Some days you don’t know what it is.

Some days you see all your nightmares walking in front of you. The demons in your mind come down and walk in front of you as though they own you.

Some nights are never-ending. Some nights wouldn’t even start.

Some days … I wish somebody asked how my day went. And some days I wish nobody spoke to me.

Some days it’s me talking and hindering myself and my thoughts and keep myself distracted and reminding myself it’s going to be alright. Some days I wish somebody actually listened and help me get through that day.

It is not an easy thing to get over this clinical condition. It takes a lot of understanding, talking and believing that this is just a phase. Not all times you’ll be able to do this, but keep trying. You do know anything that comes in easy won’t last long. You can always try out different things and see what can help you the best and where can you be by doing something that defines your mental state. Maybe just go ahead and spill paint on a paper or scribble or even write it down in a note pad. Maybe that’ll make your heart and your mind a little less heavy. There is nothing wrong in seeking help, go out and talk to people you really know will understand you and help you get through your day. Take a course, read and play, get some fresh air. Spend some time alone watching the sunrise and sunset.

Always, remember nothing lasts longer, not even you. This won’t last long either if you believe this is a phase and walk along with it and one day even before you realise you’ll be out of this mental health condition!

Keep trying and remember to seek help!

MENTAL HEALTH – ANXIETY

Anxiety medically defined as Intense, excessive and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations.

As a person who is suffering out of this and at this point of time where everything seems to be in halt and affecting all our perspectives about life. This probably could give people an insight into what it really feels like do be the one undergoing anxiety.

A person who is anxious suffers from breathing disabilities because there’s a choking pressure in their neck not because of somebody literally doing it to them but it is a thought or feeling to best describe it. A lot of other people feel differently, there’s a sudden breakdown, there’s a sudden flash of pain, people feel everything around them seem to shatter, there’s so much to add to this. A lot of people do not certainly feel the same, it varies from person to person and a lot of them struggle in expressing what this emotional wreckage is all about. It is a big burden and a big struggle to get over these phases.

Let me sketch you down to some of my personal experiences on this. There are days when you can’t seem to be getting sleep, I’ve gone on weeks without having adequate sleep for a day. There are days where I’m emotional down, I just need a teeny tiny prick to get it out of me. There are days where I’m so frustrated and I can’t seem to be holding back them from letting out all on people. There are days where I don’t want to leave my bed. There are days where I have body pain for no reason, it could be my back, feet, headache, shoulders and the rip a vary from time to time. Some days it’s pure exhaustion, physical and cognitive. Some days I don’t seem to be getting enough attention from people, some days they are stepping too much. Some days I need a person physically next to me, some days I can’t even hear their voice over the phone. A lot of days it’s purely teared up eyes and me struggling to hold them back from flowing. I’ve had days at work where I just can’t do anything more and I need a break from everything, a vacation perhaps, but then they don’t seem to be sufficient too. I’ve had days of random breakdowns at work and struggling to hold your tears back in and give away the fake smile to your kids who look up to you. However, I’ve realised that smile shouldn’t have lasted, that smile shouldn’t have even shown up, maybe I should’ve let it flow down and let my kids know that I’m struggling through life as much as they do, but maybe with different things. You know why? They look up to every personality in me and some even consider as a role model, if you’re going to be that role model who is good at putting up that fake smile and getting along and not letting your emotions through, then you’re creating the same sense in those young minds. Some days you’re hallucinating, that can scare every part of you and push you to harm you in all forms. You’ll enter a delusion and struggle for months to get out of it, some even struggle years.

Now that you know what a person feels like, let me tell you what causes this. PEOPLE! Yes, you heard it right. PEOPLE cause it.
You would’ve come across a narcissistic person at some point of time. It could be your family, it could be your sibling, it could be your friends, your colleagues, your partner or even some you probably adore. For the once who do not know what a narcissist is, it is a person who is all about one’s self! By default, we’ve evolved into an environment full of narcissist and narcissism as a baseline criterion to be part of the ”group”. Some people don’t even know they live and are a narcissist. Some times it’s not even people, it’s memories that once belonged these people. The memories that do not seem to have gotten and eaten enough of you but still wants to take each inch of your flesh and feed on it when you cry out of pain and for help.

Now, we know the cause and symptom (medically speaking). Let me tell you what the treatment is, well it just needs two things. More like two important potions to be a little less anxious in an ever-evolving and an ever expecting society.

  1. Love/care/affection.
  2. A right person

Yes, you heard me again, Love from the right person is all that you need to get you out of this. The trust that person builds you with is so very crucial. A person that sits next to you and listens to what you’re feeling, without judging you or having a preexisting perspective about you, plays a major role. The cause and the treatment for a mental health condition are going to be a person, not necessarily the same person but it does need a person to help you get through this. A state of mind to accept it, not accepting the situation but accepting and working to grow with yourself to get yourself out of this is so vital. Be prepared to feel overwhelmed, hallucinated and irritable throughout this period. You will have to fight through your days, through a smile, a tear, a person and a day. When you learn that you’re realizing these things and you know that you want to get through this is also the day you should start setting your soul and your mind at peace with the situation.

You will always call that one person in your life to talk about this, could be your partner or your friend, someone from your family, someone from your workspace. But believe me, this is that person you’ve decided to invest all your trust in. And that person may or may not reach up to your state of mind, be prepared to accept to.

Battling mental health can be burdensome at times, but it’s never the end of the earth.

Combat it with the best of your smile, with the best of your energy and trust me, you’ll get through it one day! 😊

THE HAPPY PLACE!!!

A happy place, sounds very familiar?

A place? Or happy?

What is it?

Let’s understand!

A happy place is an emotion, that connects you to that one person you want to spend all your time with.

It’s that person’s touch that leaves you with chills running down your spine. That touch that feels like never before. That touch that takes you to places, like time travel. That touch that instantly puts a smile on your face. That touch that you know for sure it is that person and nobody in this world can ever make you feel that way.

It’s that person’s hug that gives you the perfect warmth. That hug that calms your soul down and excites your neurone to release more serotonin. That hug that you wait days and months and year’s together. That hug even when hugged more than ten time’s a day still feels like it’s the first time you hugged that person. That hug is so special to you, and you hate to share. That hug that makes you feel like home. That hug that’s the safest place you could live and die in.

It’s that person you want to crawl up to on a bad day or on a happy weekend. On a rainy day, you want to sit beside them sipping your coffee and playing with the rain. On a sunny day, you want to go out to the beach and get some tan on. It’s always going to be that person popping up to remind you that “Everything’s going to be okay”. And if that isn’t your happy person, then there’s nothing happier in this world.

And remember, it always doesn’t have to be a person who is your happy place, for me, it is a person, a person full of love, smiles and a safe place!

It could be a location, a specific spot at your room, doing art, reading a book or anything!

A happy place is a place of pure happiness and the purest of pure love!

I found my happy place!

I hope you find yours too 🙂

A teacher

We, teachers, stand in front of you in the class talking about our subject of expertise, putting back all our emotions!

I know all teachers will agree to this.

We’ve given our years to educating people.

We’ve sacrificed our weekends preparing for class when you students, slept till midday.

We’ve devoted our lives to the institution we work in.

We’ve given no priority to our personal life, but to yours. 

We’ve given no limelight on our health, but to make it up to work every single day. 

We’ve not spent hours crying on period cramps and scratching headaches and back pains that are killing us on the inside, but instead, we stood there in front of the class having the smile we can as if nothing’s happening internally just to teach you.

We’ve had our hearts broken probably over the weekend, but turned to school Monday morning without even complaining about fighting those Monday blues.

We’ve cried ourselves to sleep so many nights, and walked into the class the next day with our smile brighter than the sunshine.

We’ve been humiliated, looked down upon by people, by parents, colleagues, friends and the last but not the least you dear students. For not being able to stand in front of you in times of emergency, when we couldn’t deal with one situation that arose in the class when we didn’t know the answer to a question you asked. But well, you all forget more than 50% of the content that we teach by the end of the hour if we start picking and look down on you. You’re going to be running into suicide pits. 

We need therapies to get to do our day to day work, why? Stress! As simple and as funny as it sounds when people ask us? What are you stressed about? Work? Do you just teach? Keep the book and go on ranting from it! 

Well, that’s not the only thing we do as teachers, we cater you’ll more than your parents do! 

Most of us forget our family and keep wondering why was that girl so quiet today? Why was that boy absent today? Is she okay? Is he doing well? And so much more. 

So much to worry about. So much to think about than any other professions do.

People often ask me, why do you think this profession is the most priceless thing to do? Well, if there wasn’t a teacher or an educator behind every individual who is either doing great or a failure to this world, the world wouldn’t have anybody to tell you what to do and what not to. There’s no profession that educates all the other professions out there available for you. 

But there’s one thing, that hinders me and bothers me the most and that’s what lead to me write this. 

We, teachers, failed to do one thing and we will continue to fail in that. 

That’s not teaching them, the subject 

That’s not giving them, life lessons

That’s not giving them, morals 

That’s giving them a sense of gratitude! 

Where I as a teacher, today feel and agree strongly than anything so far, and that’s igniting the sense of having gratitude to every person who went through arrows to be there for you and give you a life worth living!